Today, let’s delve into the realm of viral relationship advice making waves across the web. While some of this advice may seem insightful, it’s crucial to examine it critically and understand that one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to relationships. Please make sure to watch the full video on ‘Couples Therapist Reacts To Viral Relationship Advice’ on YouTube: https://youtu.be/QFRuwznLYCk

Viral Advice #1: The Language of Love

A common notion that frequently circulates is that men’s love language is acts of service. This suggests that, for a man, feeling loved translates to tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and helping in various ways. But is it really that simple? As a clinical psychologist, I’ve come across diverse relationships, and I’ve found that reducing the complexity of a person’s needs to a single category is an oversimplification. Men and women have unique preferences and tendencies, but it’s essential to remember that individuals are not confined to these generalizations.

Viral Advice #2: The ‘Hero’ Narrative

In some relationship advice videos, the idea of being a “peace” for your partner is emphasized, particularly for high-achieving men who carry the weight of their responsibilities. The concept suggests that a man needs to come home to find serenity and support, with his partner offering relaxation and appreciation for his hard work. While providing emotional support and being a source of comfort is vital in a relationship, it’s crucial not to lose sight of the fact that a relationship is a partnership. It’s not about one person being a hero while everyone else serves them. Real-world relationships are about mutual growth, where both partners have the opportunity to flourish.

Viral Advice #3: Respect for Men, Love for Women

Another widely circulated piece of advice is that men need respect, while women need love. This assertion oversimplifies the intricacies of human relationships. Reducing the emotional needs of men and women to just one word—respect or love—neglects the richness of our emotional experiences. Men can desire love just as much as women, and assuming that a single element is enough to fulfill their emotional needs can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications.

Viral Advice #4: The Myth of Perfection

In some videos, there’s a focus on having it all figured out in a relationship and the notion that you’re supposed to have everything together. The reality is quite different. No one enters a relationship or a marriage with all the answers, and the journey of self-discovery and growth is a continuous one. Relationships aren’t about reaching a destination; they’re about embracing the journey. Just like watching a movie, you wouldn’t skip to the end and expect to understand the entire storyline. It’s the ups and downs, the lessons learned, and the growth that make a relationship meaningful.

Viral Advice #5: Balancing Work and Family

One of the pieces of advice that resonates with many is the importance of balancing work and family. Being present in the lives of your loved ones is crucial. If you’re solely focused on your career and achieving external success, you might miss out on the emotional richness of your family’s story. Your loved ones are living an entire narrative, and if you’re absent or distant, you miss out on being an integral part of that story. Balancing work and family life requires effort and constant adjustment, but the rewards in terms of connection and growth are immeasurable.

As we navigate through the sea of viral relationship advice, it’s essential to remember that the complexities of human relationships cannot be distilled into simple formulas. Rather than adhering to one-size-fits-all advice, we should celebrate the unique dynamics of each relationship. Relationships are journeys with twists and turns. I encourage couples to embrace growth, adapt to the changing landscape, and enjoy the process of understanding, supporting, and cherishing your partner.

Remember, there’s no rush to have everything figured out; the beauty is in the journey.

Today, we’re diving deeper into the practical applications of this concept and how it can profoundly impact our lives.

Understanding the Observer-Observed Conflict:

Let’s begin by revisiting the concept of the Observer-Observed Conflict, a term rooted in the realm of quantum physics. At its core, this concept challenges the notion that we are inherently divided within ourselves. Often, we perceive a distinction between the observer—the part of us that watches our thoughts and experiences—and the observed, which is our thoughts, experiences, and emotions. The question is, is this distinction real, or is it merely an illusion we’ve conjured up? What sets this concept apart is that it relies on personal experience as evidence. Unlike many other theories, it doesn’t require us to adopt second-hand information or build our beliefs around someone else’s teachings. The proponents of this approach, like Krishnamurti and Bohm, encourage us to tap into our inner wisdom and learn for ourselves. They promote learning as the process of discovering the unknown within us rather than regurgitating known facts from external sources.

Shifting Away from Guru Mentality:

Krishnamurti and Bohm emphasized that we should break free from the guru mentality and start thinking independently. They didn’t consider themselves teachers but rather guides who pointed the way toward self-discovery. The central theme in their teachings is the importance of not blindly following others, not even the greatest spiritual figures like Krishna or Buddha. Instead, they emphasized absorbing truths from within and learning independently.

The Impact of the Illusion:

The illusion of the Observer-Observed Conflict holds significant consequences for our decision-making, emotional regulation, and logical reasoning. When we perceive this division within ourselves, it can lead to feelings of disconnection and internal conflict. This internal disharmony can manifest in various ways, affecting our mental health, from depression to anxiety disorders. It can also disrupt our ability to be fully present in the moment. To delve deeper into this concept, let’s consider a couple of analogies. Imagine how our pets, particularly dogs, live in the moment. They’re super attentive to immediate threats but quickly return to a state of calm when the danger has passed. This is a perfect example of reorienting oneself to the present, something we should learn from our furry friends.

Another analogy relates to paradoxical or illogical statements. We have the ability to shift between distinct perspectives, even on the same topic. This allows us to find meaning in contradictory statements and explore different angles. It’s like momentarily separating our observer from the observed to understand different viewpoints.

The Trap of Separation:

This illusion of separation can lead to feelings of loneliness, tribalism, and adversarial thinking. We often emphasize the differences between us and others and forge connections based on shared beliefs, leading to a sense of unity among like-minded individuals. At the same time, it drives a wedge between us and those we see as different. This adversarial mindset only fuels conflict and division, which can escalate into wars and atrocities.

To break this cycle, we need to acknowledge our role in perpetuating these conflicts. Instead of pointing fingers at others, we must take responsibility for our actions, thoughts, and beliefs. We have the power to reconnect, foster empathy, and create a more harmonious world. The Observer-Observed Conflict is not just a theoretical concept but a practical approach that can transform the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. By embracing mindfulness and reorienting ourselves to the present, we can begin to dissolve the illusion of separation and foster empathy, connection, and a sense of shared responsibility.

In the next blog, we will delve into the deception of thought and how it impacts our daily lives. Don’t forget to subscribe to stay tuned for more insightful discussions.

This concept has the potential to transform the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us, ultimately leading to a happier, more fulfilled life.

The Observer Observed Phenomenon

The history of the observer-observed phenomenon is deeply rooted in the insights of David Bohm and Jiddu Krishnamurti. Bohm, a Quantum physicist, delved into the concept of the observer’s impact on the observed reality. He discovered that the act of observation itself influences the reality we perceive. This fundamental idea challenges the traditional view of an observer and the observed as separate entities with space and time between them. In truth, they are part of one interconnected thought process.

Krishnamurti, the Indian philosopher and spiritual teacher, shared similar insights, emphasizing the duality within each of us. This duality often leads to a disconnection within ourselves, where we perceive two separate beings within us instead of recognizing our oneness. This concept has parallels in modern psychology, referred to as “middle cognition,” which involves self-reflection and self-examination.

The Impact of Disconnection

This internal disconnection between the observer and the observed can have significant consequences on our lives. It leads to a preoccupation with the past and a tendency to dwell on regrets, depression, and lost opportunities. Simultaneously, it fosters anxiety about the future, causing unnecessary worries and fears. This disconnection can result in various psychological disorders, including major depression and paranoia.

Moreover, Bohm and Krishnamurti believed that societal problems and chaos stem from this internal disconnection, leading to discrimination, conflicts, and social segregation. The idea is that when we are disconnected from our true selves, we also become disconnected from others, categorizing and distancing ourselves from various groups in society.

Reconnecting and Rediscovering Your Inner Power

Now, let’s explore the crux of the matter. We all possess an innate power within us, but we often get distracted by external influences and trapped in a cycle of chasing an elusive “holy grail.” To regain this innate power, we must learn to shift our focus away from preoccupation with our thoughts and the past or future and redirect our attention to the present moment.

Reorienting ourselves to the present is a powerful tool. In this context, consider two enlightening analogies: one from the animal kingdom and another from individuals who exemplify a Zen-like state of being.

The Animal World: Observe how pets, especially dogs, react to threats. They instantly shift from a state of peace to taking action when a threat arises. What’s remarkable is that once the threat subsides, they promptly reorient themselves to the present, leaving behind any thoughts of past or future danger. This is a lesson in embracing the moment.

Zen-Like Individuals: Many successful people, whether artists, entrepreneurs, or professionals, share the ability to immerse themselves fully in the present moment when engaged in their craft. They don’t ruminate about past losses or worry excessively about the future, which is a key to their success and inner peace.

In conclusion, the observer-observed phenomenon teaches us that true power lies in being present and reconnecting with our inner selves. By reorienting ourselves to the present moment, we can overcome the disconnection that plagues our lives, both individually and collectively. Embracing the present moment allows us to navigate life’s challenges with grace and find true happiness.

You can watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pdJ1aC1cJA

I hope this exploration of the Observer-Observed Phenomenon has inspired you to reclaim your innate power and lead a more fulfilled life.

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